At 7am. I didn’t mean to stay up all night, but once I got to a certain point, there was no putting it down. I cried so much. I ended up getting about 4.5 hours of sleep.
But now I want to go back and read all of the Harry Potter posts that I’ve been skipping over the last several months! lol. My brain is so full of information! And I really want to finally see the movie!
- November 17
- , 2011
Well, nothing productive, that’s for sure.
I DID just look through all of the photo booth pictures I’ve taken since getting my computer almost 2 years ago. They made me laugh. Some of them are quite funny. =] I should make a slideshow of all of them… But not tonight. It is most certainly time for bed.
Goodnight, tumblrverse! I LOVE YOU!
[Leave me a funny photo booth pic and I’ll leave you one in return!]
- October 27
- , 2011
I’ve got an itch for new tunes!
- October 17
- , 2011
And I’d really appreciate some prayer.
I had one of the worst days of work ever today. I REALLY need a new job. And I’m incredibly stressed out already. I don’t know how I’m going to get done all the things I need to do within the amount of time I have to do them.
Please send me some hugs or something happy/funny or let me know you’re praying for me. Thank you. <3
- September 26
- , 2011
With that Classic DiSC profile. I took it 6 times and nothing. So the lady I emailed about it basically upgraded me to a more elaborate profile and it finally worked for me. YAY!
If you know nothing about the DiSC assessment, check it out here. According to my assessment, I have an iS style personality: primarily i, leaning toward S. Some of you are probably bored to tears already, but I find it fascinating [being a psych major and all] and enjoyed studying my 20 page result document. =]
Now, all that is left in my missions application process is to make sure all of my references are in and submit a photo of myself. Then I’ll be DONE! Photo shoot tomorrow. =] I’m so excited to be moving on to the next steps with all of this. Stay tuned for updates!
My talk went well with one of the mission team leaders in Rome this morning. We skyped. She was really sweet. I’m excited to move forward with the process and get involved. =]
Had a great study with my friend/co-leader to prep for our girls Bible study that’s on Wednesdays. We ate at Panda Express and then studied Sarah and God’s faithfulness to keep His promises and how He gives us the desires of our hearts when we seek after Him. We also got sidetracked talking about the sacrifice of Isaac and how He always provides for our needs. It’s cool to see, also, how much closer Abraham’s walk with the Lord grew as he got older because he has complete faith that God will provide a lamb for the sacrifice. There are so many beautiful parallels there to Christ! I could go on and on. hahaha.
This evening, I met up with a guy from craigslist who was selling Spectra film. My camera worked, so I was going to buy 3 boxes from him because he listed his sale price as $15 per box. He gave me a discount though and gave me 5 boxes for $40! SO STOKED! The film expired in October of ‘05 so there’s some funky discolorations, but I love it. I’ll try to get the two prints that I took today scanned in tomorrow and upload them to flickr.
I have an interview in the morning and I want to be well rested and ready!
If you see me on later, yell at me!
Goodnight!
- April 7
- , 2011
You know those moments when you suddenly realize something? Something that deep down you already knew, but now it’s solid understanding?
I’m listening an audio book [Radical by David Platt] that I got at work the other day. Its main theme is about how in this day and age, we forget what it really means to live like Jesus. Something he was saying though really struck me and gave me this revelation.
God loves us where we are. He does not expect us to change or become a better person or try to accomplish great things before we come to Him. He loves us right where we are. BUT. That doesn’t mean that He wants us to stay there. Once we surrender to Him, He wants to grow us, mold us, change us into the person He wants us to become.
I know, it’s a very simple idea, but it’s so important. We cannot become perfect in our own strength and we cannot do anything to deserve His love. He simply loves us. But when we choose to love Him and follow Him, He does not allow us to stay where we were at first. He wants better for us than that. He wants us to be more like Him.
It’s a beautiful thing. =]
- April 6
- , 2011
And make crafts. Yay! X]
Oh! Also: I got a second interview at the credit union on Friday!
It’s a good day, guys!
- April 5
- , 2011
Probably a rat in the attic. Great.
- April 4
- , 2011
![xmicahh:
For all those who write “Suicide Notes” on tumblr just to get notes.
Fuck you. You see those pill cartridges I’m holding? Those are filled with Zoloft. Zoloft is an anti-depressant prescribed to those who suffer from Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and OCD. Google it up if you don’t believe me.
Yes my name is Micah Naguit, and yes I do have to take Zoloft every single fucking day of my life.
Want to know why? Because I am suffering from Depression, Panic/Anxiety disorder, and a whole slew of things. I have to take 100mg everyday and go to my therapist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital every Tuesday.
No, this is not a “Suicide Note”, this is to show you what it’s really life for a surviver of a suicide attempt.
I had attempted suicide three times. Two in 2010, and one last February. For everytime I tried, did I go onto tumblr and “blog” about it. No, because I was too busy sobbing my eyes out while getting my belt ready on my ceiling fan to hang myself with. I didn’t want to be with anyone but myself. The second time I attempted, I had almost succeeded(by hanging) until my mother found me and forced me down. Then I took a bottle of Codine(for my migraines) and swallowed 3 pills. I was about to swallow more until my Mom had called the police(this was back in December, remember my “pneumonia”?).
After they had stopped me, I was ESCORTED via the police in his POLICE CAR, to the Ohio Hospital of Psychiatry. I stayed there for an entire week under suicide watch while I had to “play happy” and be on good behavior. I was diagnosed with depression because of extreme bullying I had suffered the entire year last year.
Once I was released I had to go to the Children’s Hospital for my therapy. Did I go straight to tumblr and talk about it? Hell to the no. I was embarrassed for doing what I did so I made up the lie about being deathly ill for 2 weeks. Anyways, from the hospital and my therapist I learned how to slowly cope with my suicidal thoughts. I am suffering from what I had stated above and PTSD.
I still have nightmares about what happened in December, I still get my days when I don’t want to do anything but sob in my bed, I still have these visions of taking a gun and shooting myself in the head once a week, but do I take my belt and hang myself again? No.
Because I’m thankful I’m still alive. Being in OHP(the psych hospital) was hell. It was prison for those who have mental issues. I never want to go to that place and it helped me realize just how precious my life is.
So seeing all these “fake suicide notes” piss me off because you guys have no FUCKING idea what it’s like to go through depression and wish to end your life. It’s fucking hell and it fucking hurts. I thank god for my family, friends, my therapist, and Children’s Hospital for still being alive.
Don’t joke about something that happens among people every single day of our life and if you are seriously contemplating it, don’t. Because if you don’t succeed, you’ll suffer a fate worse than hell.
By the way I have been in therapy for about three months and taking Zoloft for that time. I hate the pills, they make my woozy and I love my therapist but it’s tiring having to drive back and forth. Everyday my Mom marches into my room, “tucking” me to sleep while crying hoping I’m still alive by the time she wakes up. My brother really does run back home from school just to make sure I’m not hanging from my ceiling. My Dad doesn’t even know how to talk to me anymore because he’s afraid I’ll get offended and start sobbing. My family doesn’t know how to trust or approach me anymore and that’s what hurts the most.
Not the scar on my neck that I photoshop out of my photos, not the stares I get from my cousin, not the anxiety, panic, and suicidal thoughts that live in my mind. No what hurts the most is seeing my family suffer through the same pain I have to go through.
Killing yourself might solve your pain but it only gives a worse pain to those who love you.
Suicide is real. It does happen to people just like you. It happened to me and none of you knew it because while I was there on the chair ready to jump off, I wasn’t thinking “Oh let me blog about this shit and get 234985349 notes”.
Currently, I’m going through the “Five stages of grief” lessons in my therapy. As my assignment, I’ve had to tell my classmates that I suffer from depression and that I tried to commit suicide back in December. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s true. I just decided to finally tell my followers because I’m tired of seeing these damn “suicide notes”, they just offend me and make me realize the shit that helped me get into where I am right now.
THIS is offensive.
Some people may use fake suicide notes to gain attention, but how would you know that that was the case. You cannot know what is going on inside of every person who posts a suicide note. They could be desperately looking for any sign that there is ANYONE who cares about their life. You have no idea what they are going through, what sort of depression they are suffering from.
I realize the OP has gone through a lot and that is unfortunate. But that doesn’t give them any right to say that the people writing suicide notes have no idea what it’s like to have depression or wish to end their lives. That is insensitive and offensive.
And so what if some of the notes are fake? It’s not hurting you. These are people, with lives, who are hurting and longing for love.
I myself have suffered through depression [I’ve been doing much better for several months now] and I know that I just wanted people to be there for me and love me through it. I hardly ever mention anything about it on the internet because I feel like it makes other people feel awkward. But if someone is brave enough to share that they are hurting, we should show them love, not hate.
If you are hurting, talk to someone. There actually are people out there [like me] who would love to listen and encourage and pray for you. You are special. You have worth. You are loved.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj1tpwpt6c1qa22eho1_500.jpg)
For all those who write “Suicide Notes” on tumblr just to get notes.
Fuck you. You see those pill cartridges I’m holding? Those are filled with Zoloft. Zoloft is an anti-depressant prescribed to those who suffer from Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and OCD. Google it up if you don’t believe me.
Yes my name is Micah Naguit, and yes I do have to take Zoloft every single fucking day of my life.
Want to know why? Because I am suffering from Depression, Panic/Anxiety disorder, and a whole slew of things. I have to take 100mg everyday and go to my therapist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital every Tuesday.
No, this is not a “Suicide Note”, this is to show you what it’s really life for a surviver of a suicide attempt.
I had attempted suicide three times. Two in 2010, and one last February. For everytime I tried, did I go onto tumblr and “blog” about it. No, because I was too busy sobbing my eyes out while getting my belt ready on my ceiling fan to hang myself with. I didn’t want to be with anyone but myself. The second time I attempted, I had almost succeeded(by hanging) until my mother found me and forced me down. Then I took a bottle of Codine(for my migraines) and swallowed 3 pills. I was about to swallow more until my Mom had called the police(this was back in December, remember my “pneumonia”?).
After they had stopped me, I was ESCORTED via the police in his POLICE CAR, to the Ohio Hospital of Psychiatry. I stayed there for an entire week under suicide watch while I had to “play happy” and be on good behavior. I was diagnosed with depression because of extreme bullying I had suffered the entire year last year.
Once I was released I had to go to the Children’s Hospital for my therapy. Did I go straight to tumblr and talk about it? Hell to the no. I was embarrassed for doing what I did so I made up the lie about being deathly ill for 2 weeks. Anyways, from the hospital and my therapist I learned how to slowly cope with my suicidal thoughts. I am suffering from what I had stated above and PTSD.
I still have nightmares about what happened in December, I still get my days when I don’t want to do anything but sob in my bed, I still have these visions of taking a gun and shooting myself in the head once a week, but do I take my belt and hang myself again? No.
Because I’m thankful I’m still alive. Being in OHP(the psych hospital) was hell. It was prison for those who have mental issues. I never want to go to that place and it helped me realize just how precious my life is.
So seeing all these “fake suicide notes” piss me off because you guys have no FUCKING idea what it’s like to go through depression and wish to end your life. It’s fucking hell and it fucking hurts. I thank god for my family, friends, my therapist, and Children’s Hospital for still being alive.
Don’t joke about something that happens among people every single day of our life and if you are seriously contemplating it, don’t. Because if you don’t succeed, you’ll suffer a fate worse than hell.
By the way I have been in therapy for about three months and taking Zoloft for that time. I hate the pills, they make my woozy and I love my therapist but it’s tiring having to drive back and forth. Everyday my Mom marches into my room, “tucking” me to sleep while crying hoping I’m still alive by the time she wakes up. My brother really does run back home from school just to make sure I’m not hanging from my ceiling. My Dad doesn’t even know how to talk to me anymore because he’s afraid I’ll get offended and start sobbing. My family doesn’t know how to trust or approach me anymore and that’s what hurts the most.
Not the scar on my neck that I photoshop out of my photos, not the stares I get from my cousin, not the anxiety, panic, and suicidal thoughts that live in my mind. No what hurts the most is seeing my family suffer through the same pain I have to go through.
Killing yourself might solve your pain but it only gives a worse pain to those who love you.
Suicide is real. It does happen to people just like you. It happened to me and none of you knew it because while I was there on the chair ready to jump off, I wasn’t thinking “Oh let me blog about this shit and get 234985349 notes”.
Currently, I’m going through the “Five stages of grief” lessons in my therapy. As my assignment, I’ve had to tell my classmates that I suffer from depression and that I tried to commit suicide back in December. You don’t have to believe me, but it’s true. I just decided to finally tell my followers because I’m tired of seeing these damn “suicide notes”, they just offend me and make me realize the shit that helped me get into where I am right now.
THIS is offensive.
Some people may use fake suicide notes to gain attention, but how would you know that that was the case. You cannot know what is going on inside of every person who posts a suicide note. They could be desperately looking for any sign that there is ANYONE who cares about their life. You have no idea what they are going through, what sort of depression they are suffering from.
I realize the OP has gone through a lot and that is unfortunate. But that doesn’t give them any right to say that the people writing suicide notes have no idea what it’s like to have depression or wish to end their lives. That is insensitive and offensive.
And so what if some of the notes are fake? It’s not hurting you. These are people, with lives, who are hurting and longing for love.
I myself have suffered through depression [I’ve been doing much better for several months now] and I know that I just wanted people to be there for me and love me through it. I hardly ever mention anything about it on the internet because I feel like it makes other people feel awkward. But if someone is brave enough to share that they are hurting, we should show them love, not hate.
If you are hurting, talk to someone. There actually are people out there [like me] who would love to listen and encourage and pray for you. You are special. You have worth. You are loved.
